The Marriage Covenant
1. Exactly where in the Bible does it say that marriage is a covenant relationship? This is something every Christian needs to know.
Yet she is your companion, and your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14b
2. Why does the Bible call marriage a covenant relationship? First of all, what is a covenant relationship?
A covenant is a means of making an unrelated person part of your family. The covenant relationship binds two people together in an eternal lock just as if they were blood related. The totality of blood relationship is thus established.
note: The covenant relationship is meant to be eternally binding. This is much more than just a legality. Every culture on earth agrees: The marriage covenant is sacred, and is meant to be kept.
3. Every covenant is made with blood. Marriage is also a blood covenant. When a virgin gets married, her hymen is broken. Some bleeding occurs. This is God's way of reminding us that marriage is a blood covenant. The marriage is not considered to be consummated until this mating and bonding takes place.
4. Jesus said...
Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, "For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:4-6
5. But the Pharisees (wanting to justify themselves), asked Jesus a question...
They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" Matthew 19:7
6. Jesus made it clear...
He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. Matthew 19:6-9
note: The actual language of Moses' command was unclear. He said a man could divorce his wife if he found some "thing of uncleanness" in her. (Deuteronomy 24:1) Some of the priests and the Pharisees said this meant nearly anything. Jesus said it meant sexual immorality.
7. Jesus had a pure heart. The Pharisees wanted to live by the letter of the law. Jesus was more interested in the intent of the law. How had God intended the law in the first place? God wants us to have that same heart. Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4
8. Yet the New Testament does allow divorce in some cases...
Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. I Corinthians 7:10-11
But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her; let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not in bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
I Corinthians 7:12-15To this I add that many ministers, myself included, believe that the New Testament allows divorce for two reasons: Jesus allowed divorce only in the case of sexual immorality. Speaking as Jesus' ambassador, Paul added the case of abandonment. But Abandonment can take many forms. Husband or wife beating is a form of abandonment. Child molesting is a form of abandonment. Defrauding (refusing conjugal rights) is a form of abandonment. Criminal activity, or wanton failure to provide would both fall under the heading of abandonment. In fact, the Bible says that anyone who fails to provide for his own is worse than an unbeliever. (I Timothy 5:8) But whether or not the opposite marriage partner has truly abandoned the marriage is open to question. Much discernment is needed. In most cases the marriage has not been abandoned - though it may look like it. Here's the key Paul provided: If the opposite marriage partner wants to stay, then let him (or her) stay.* (Legal separation for the sake of safety is an alternative to divorce.) But if an unbelieving person has truly abandoned the marriage, the believer is not in bondage. He is free to remarry. Yet, I would call for the pastor and the elders of the church to council in all such matters. The failure of a marriage is usually the fault of both partners.
*note: sometimes a person who has abandoned the marriage may stay in the house because of financial considerations or reputation. But the truth is they have actually left.
Wisdom also dictates that a victim of divorce should not remarry for a number of years. More than 85% of all women who remarry quickly say that the second marriage is worse than the first.
Still I add this... IN THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO! God meant the marriage covenant to be inviolate - not broken for any reason.